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Mastering the Art of Client Conversations

Mastering the Art of Client Conversations

Most conversations start off with innocuous questions like, “What do you think of the weather?” If you want to build rapport and trust with clients, you need to have conversations that go deeper than that.

The way you ask the questions will dramatically affect the quality and value of your conversation. Certain types of questions can expand the conversation, and others can block it. The better you get at asking conversation-expanding questions, the easier it will be for you to build rapport with clients. Plus, the conversations will naturally be more engaging and informative.

In this article, you’ll read about four invaluable conversation tools that can help you have more meaningful client conversations.

Conversation tool #1: Listening

Your conversations will only be as valuable to you as your ability to listen. Active listening is hearing what the other person is saying, evaluating it in your mind and then responding appropriately. Listening is the most important element in communication and a whole-being experience. It’s your ears, heart, eyes and mind.

It takes practice to be a good listener, and it’s the way we listen that makes a difference in conversations. Bad listening behaviours such as daydreaming, finishing sentences, interrupting, selective listening and pretending to listen can all be improved with practicing active listening. Replacing old ineffective communication styles will help you to re-wire your brain and communicate more effectively with others.

Fiddling with your phone, feeling tired and putting other clients on hold are all barriers that prevent us from listening effectively. The way to overcome these barriers is to focus. By focusing, you will hear what the client is saying and will understand what their needs are.

Face the person that you are listening to and make eye contact. Listening uses your face, eyes and body. For effective listening, make eye contact, lean in slightly, nod and respond with appropriate facial expressions. Body language is a powerful tool to use along with your questions and tone of voice. Use a variety of listening cues to signal that you are paying attention. Common cues include “uh huh” “okay,” and “hmm.

Paraphrasing is restating what the other person said in your own words. By paraphrasing, it shows a client that you are paying attention and decreases the possibility of misunderstandings. To focus the discussion and summarize major concepts, say, “If I heard you correctly, what we discussed was …”

Conversation tool #2: Broad questions

Broad questions are open-ended and ask for opinions and thoughts. They leave the client with limitless replies. They allow the client to choose the topic and encourage them to think creatively. Examples of broad questions are “What are you planning to do when you retire?”, “What did you think of your vacation resort?”, and “How was the process of getting your mortgage?”

Start by asking broad questions and then listen to the answers to build on them.

Conversation tool #3: Narrow questions

Narrow questions are direct and ask for yes or no answers containing factual information. For example, “Do you have life insurance?”, “How many credit cards do you have?”, and “Is this a copy of your current will?”

Use narrow questions to learn more about specifics.

Conversation tool #4: Leading questions

Leading questions are opinions that also seek agreement. If you want honest answers, avoid leading questions. They usually start with a negative contraction such as: “aren’t”, “wouldn’t”, “don’t”, or “isn’t”. For example, “Isn’t this a great office?” and “Don’t you like the new portfolio?”

Transforming a leading question creates an open dialogue with clients and makes you sound less pushy and domineering. If you want feedback, you can change a leading question to a statement or broad question. For example, “Wouldn’t it be great to have quarterly reviews?” can be altered to “I think it would be great to have quarterly reviews. What do you think?”

If a client asks you a leading question, decide if you want to focus on the opinion, the question or both. You can rephrase the opinion and the question and check for understanding. For example, if a client asks, “Don’t you think this is the best mutual fund?” you can respond, “It sounds like you think this is the best mutual fund, and you want to know whether I agree. Is that right?”

Use leading questions to get “buy-in” from prospects.

Putting these conversation tools into practice

Discerning between broad, narrow and leading questions as well as rephrasing leading questions will improve your conversations and client engagement.  With good communication skills, you can inform, negotiate and influence people.

Before you engage a client in conversation, it’s important to relax and stay present. Pay attention to the body language of the client such as the tone of voice, facial expressions and body gestures, which will give you clues to what they are really thinking and feeling. Try to speak slowly and briefly. If you are communicating something important, break down the information into smaller segments and then wait for the client to acknowledge that they understand you.

Invest all of your energy and attention into making your client feel important and understood. Be confident in your ability to solve their problem. For clients that are angry or upset, it is important to empathize with their feelings and to take a break. For example, “I’m sorry to hear that. I can understand how frustrating the situation is.”  Pausing allows the client to gather their thoughts and for you to take a breath and refocus.

Taking notes will help you to effectively summarize the conversation. Good notes will highlight the key points and action steps. Transfer the notes to your CRM daily, and be succinct so that you can review them quickly at a later time.

About Rosemary Smyth and Aaron Hoos

Rosemary Smyth and Aaron Hoos

Rosemary Smyth, MBA, CIM, FCSI, ACC, is an author, columnist and an international business coach for financial advisors. She spent her career working at leading investment firms before pursuing her passion for coaching. She lives in Victoria, BC. Visit her website at You can email Rosemary at:

Aaron Hoos, MBA, has worked in the financial industry since 1997. Formerly a stockbroker, insurance broker, and award-winning sales manager, today he writes for the financial and real estate industry as an educator and marketer. He is working on his second book. Visit his website at and follow him on Twitter @AaronHoos.

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